When the pain cuts you deep
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see
That I will be your remedy

Today I listened to this only one song – Remedy by Adele. Repeatedly. Whenever I had some time for music. In the taxi. In intervals between my work shifts. While walking along the street. When eating my lunch.

Soundcloud ‘flew’ to this song and it clicked with me immediately. Great I have found something that would save me the headache of writing a wedding vow (if someday I turn out to decide that getting married is a good idea lol). I would just have to play this song for my part lol.

Recalling the days not long after I decided to end a relationship that occupied most of my 20s. Though I was the one who ended it, I wasn’t immune to a period of self doubt and self criticism. ‘There could be no one on earth who would fall for me,’ I told chi Huyen. ‘No, many men like women beautiful, smart, and having own perspectives like you. I don’t think the problem lies in whether men will fall for you. It’s in how long they stay. Men want the feeling of protecting their woman. You won’t give them that.’ I secretly thought to myself, ‘I’m so fragile inside. I want to feel protected.’

Now one year later, I have to once again admit that she knows me even better than I do myself (as she has proven so many times before). She knows who I truly am before I know it myself. If there’s one way for me to live my life, that’s to face all the storms myself and only come back for encouragement and empathy – not protection. So I can’t promise to be someone for a man to protect. Actually, I will promise to be “his remedy”.

Come whatever, I’ll be the shelter that won’t let the rain come through…
[…] I promise you will see that I will be your remedy.